The Milton Ferrets
The pizza has arrived!
Tag Red-bars
Gender 5 Males, 1 Female
Species/Breed Ferrets
Owner(s) Henry Milton (formerly)
Friends & Family Themselves,
Affiliation Jeeves, Mr. Steward
Everyone else
Location Dimension Prime, Babylon Gardens, Milton Estate

The Milton Ferrets, (Keene, Lana, Duke, Simon, Rock and Pit) are the pet ferrets of the deceased multi-billionaire Henry Milton. After passing on Mr. Henry left most of his fortune and his main estate to the Ferrets, and they now spend their days leisurely spending money. They first appeared in Money Sharks. The Ferrets hold a bigger role later on when Keene; the leader, starts the Equal Chance Program. They all appeared for first time in Meanwhile Back In Babylon but were detailed which was who.

Official Site BiographyEdit

The six ferrets left an enormous multi-billion dollar fortune by their late owner, Mr. Henry Milton. Milton was responsible for the construction of Babylon Gardens which he meant as a paradise for pet owners and pets, his ultimate plans for which were never quite finished nor even fully explained. Due to constant difficulties with his few remaining members of his family, he left the majority of his fortune to his pets, who now pretty much waste it all on whatever they like. There’s far more money than they can even do stupid things with.

General InformationEdit

The Ferrets inherited the money of their deceased owner, and immediately started wasting it on many things. They held an unexplained contest with a prize, which Bino tried to win, but in the end the winner was Daisy. They then later created the Theme Park themed Theme Park; Theme Park World.

As a group the Ferrets haven't done much, but they have also operated separately. Keene started and manages the Equal Chance Program, a project which tries to make animals full citizens. Rock manages lots of media, so he appears whenever there is something involving cameras.



Keene, the Leader

The de-facto chief of the bunch who wears a red collar, and is usually seen wearing his characteristic shades. Keene is one of the few that feels guilty about inheriting all that money and not carrying on his owner’s legacy to any significant degree. These pangs of guilt subside when he drowns himself in orange soda. He started the Equal Chance Program to help animals gain a higher role in society, and realize his father's dream. Later on, after failing to exploit mana from Pete's temple to achieve his goals, Keene realizes how short-sighted he has been and steps down from the program. He moves into more middle-class accommodations with his new boyfriend Breel. Keene was properly introduced in Did I Mention You're My Best Friend?.

Lana, the Girl

Sensible, but silly, Lana is the only girl of the bunch and she wears a pink collar. She takes care of the household management and maintains a proper ladylike attitude with all of their employees and clients, except when she doesn’t want to. She likes texting, and is usually seen with a phone in her hand. Lana was properly introduced in The Spirit of Competition. Since Keene's second "near-death" experience with the failure of the last Temple Crasher's expedition and his subsequent decision to settle down with Breel, Lana has become the new Chair of the Milton enterprises.

Duke, the Kid

Duke speaks his mind, and what’s on his mind is usually exactly what’s in front of him. He is the youngest of the ferrets, and acts like a little kid. He likes to be entertained and depends on the others. He has a light-blue collar. Duke hasn’t caught onto the subtle art of subtlety yet. Duke was properly introduced in The Delicious Bold Taste That Money Can't Buy.

Simon, the Attention-Seeker

Simon will say anything as long as it gets him in the spotlight. He wears a blue collar. Simon has to be explicitly and repeatedly told to stop appearing on daytime talkshows, and when he didn’t, they issued a blanket gag order against all media companies, everywhere, to consult with Mr. Steward before Simon is put on the air, under penalty of their company being bought up and subsequently dissolved. Who says money can’t solve all your problems? Simon was properly introduced in The More Things Change.

Rock, the Media-man

Rock will nevertheless get himself into enormous amounts of trouble with the fewest tools necessary. Rock's personality started differentiating when he began a career in media work, starting in Noob Tube. After starting his career, Rock became very orderly and direct, and he cares about budget. He is usually seen with his camera crew, documenting important events. Rock sports a green collar and was properly introduced in A Man Of Secrets A Ferret Of None.

Pit, the Star

A total spendthrift with a literal white collar, Pit wants absolutely anything that strikes his fancy. Most ridiculous purchase so far: an abandoned missile silo, which he cleared out then filled with vanilla pudding. He claims that it was part of a charity event. He now owns and hosts a popular radio program. Pit was introduced in First Things First.


  • They are named after cartoon show Captain N's main characters: Kevin Keene, Princess Lana, Duke, Simon Belmont, Kid Icarus (based on the game character Pit) and Megaman (original japanese name Rockman, or simply Rock).
  • In They Pity The Foo, Joey poses as their "long-lost cousin Aran", referring to Samus Aran from Metroid.

Dogs Peanut | Bino | Fox | King | Tarot | Fido | Joey | Sasha | Tiger | Bailey | Ralph | Kevin | Duchess | Rex | Lester | Dallas | Yeltsin | Boris | Satau | Mungo
Cats Grape | Max | Sabrina | Marvin | Res | Jasper | The Bigglesworths | Fiddler and Keys | Delusional Steve | Ptah
Others Zach | The Milton Ferrets (Keene, Lana, Rock, Simon, Pit and Duke) | The Wolves Pack | Karishad | Raccoons | Itsuki | Jessica | Spo | Squeak | Jata | What Chicken | Bruce and Roosevelt
Humans Earl Sandwich | Jill Sandwich | Ryan Byron | Bill Lindberg | Jerry Arbelt | Jeff | Jake | Jeeves | Mr. Steward | Joel Robinson
Fictional Spot (Superdog) | Stripe | Jim-Jim | Bat-Bat | Regular Hawk | Criminals | Pridelands Characters
Celestials Pete the Griffin | Spirit Dragon | Great Kitsune | Cerberus | Bahamut | Denizens of Heaven